Well, here I am and it is the evening before surgery. I cannot lie: I am afraid. Last night, I literally had a meltdown. Yes, the strong, stubborn, fiery ninja had a pure unadulterated meltdown. I am not ashamed to admit it. I burst into hysterics, lay on my closet floor, covered myself with several blankets and wept bitterly saying over and over “I’m not strong enough! I cannot do this!”
Seriously. I did that. For an hour.
I have been on nothing but liquids all day in preparation for the surgery. This I consider to be not so bad… much better than a colonoscopy prep because I don’t have to drink all that garbage to clean things out! Thank the Lord!
Today I was also able to meet with my WOCN nurse. She was very helpful and gave me a lot of information. Answered a few of my questions. She also marked up my belly for my stoma… I can’t really say that my fears have been erased… but right now I’m ok.